The Sleep Experiment

April 5, 2011 at 02:58

Mama Lewis


Here’s what May doesn’t understand about not being ill: It is not okay to scream for a cuddle at 2.30, 3.30 and 5 AM and then continue to scream until your smallest whim is met and you fall asleep in the arms of a distressed parent suffering from hallucinations he/she is so sleep deprived.

A private word to May (who reads this blog): You are fine. There is nothing wrong with you. Go to bed.

I’m going to experiment with my sanity for the next two nights. I’m going to pretend May is just a toddler, not a half-brained baby. I think (and who knows, maybe I’ll be proven right) that she is throwing typical two-year old tantrums. I refuse to believe she can not be broken of this habit.

Here is what I’ve done tonight:

2.30 AM May wakes up on cue and screams for Britain (a new Olympic sport)

2.45 I finish giving her some milk (May is still hungry in the night after her illness and we are trying to put the pounds back on her, so this one milk I allow.)

2.46 She is back in bed. She is not happy.

2.47 Screaming

2.49 I pick her up. Cuddle cuddle. Down.

2.50 Screaming

2.55 I pick her up. Cuddle cuddle. Down.

2.56 Screaming.

This continues with slightly longer intervals in between screams and cuddles until now (3.44! I want to die.) But, look…

Who will win The Sleep Experiment? (The crowd screams, “May!” One lone voice that sounds an awful lot like May’s mama screams, “Me!”)


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  1. Francesca Wright April 5, 2011 Reply

    ooo, May! What a monkey. I'm liking your plan :)

    Have you seen Face2face sleep solutions?

    No idea if it's of use...

    I can however recommment the make up I got for mothers day, which reduces the bags under your eyes. never have I received a more appropriate gift :)

  2. Madge Woods April 5, 2011 Reply

    This was a plan gone awry. I vote for May.

  3. Tina April 5, 2011 Reply

    What? Look at that angel! I don't believe she would possibly put you through that. Sounds like toddler tantrums to me. Charlie will wake up, let out a blood curdling scream, and then go back to bed within a few minutes.

    • Stacie Lewis April 5, 2011 Reply

      How dare you side with my little monster! Come on, Tina - you've known me a lot longer. Don't let her adorable (daytime) nature sway you.

  4. Eils April 5, 2011 Reply

    Good God do I know what that feels like ! 3 years now of that ridiculous sleep deprivation - I'm now, like you, back at work - no idea how I'm doing it, so it's not just a " May " thing, and it's not on !

    Love you & May



  5. Eils April 5, 2011 Reply

    PS - I just let Max sleep in our bed - sometimes great sometimes not so great - but I don't have to get out of bed so I don't care !

    • Stacie Lewis April 5, 2011 Reply

      That's how May gets me too. Both her and I, cuddling in a nice, warm bed. Lovely. Until she kicks me.

  6. Pingback : This week I’m… sleeping! We won! « Mama Lewis

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