A few months ago, I read a post on Laura Willard’s blog An Uncommon Family. In the post, she talks about how she encountered a woman who insisted that her two adopted children, were twins. Besides how rude this woman was – and I would encourage you to read it for yourself – I was struck by how Willard’s first thought was, “Oh hell. Not that one again. Really?”
To which, I also thought: Really?
Because, but the only thing her two children have in common is that they are both incredibly cute. Her son is Vietnamese and her daughter is Ethiopian. They weren’t even born on the same continent – let alone are twins. How is it possible that this is not the first time she’s experienced this?
Laura Willard, if you read this, I get it now. Thankfully, my experience was not full of nastiness like the one you describe, but I get it. I get how weird it is that people would think your two children are twins. Because, yesterday, it happened to me. Three times.
This despite the fact that my children are over two years apart and one of them is still a baby.
Twin remark 1: Near the bread aisle at the grocery store
A white woman approaches me with her two mixed-race children. A girl and a boy, about two years apart. She points at my children and says, “Ooooooh they are so cute! Are they twins?”
“No,” I say, not a little bit embarrassed for her. (Did I mention that one is a baby?) “but thank you.”
She continues, “I got asked that all the time about mine.” Hmmm. Now it’s getting interesting. Her children are clearly not twins either. “Maybe it’s the eyes?” I offer. Her children have the most gorgeous, green eyes. But, I think we all know, it isn’t the eyes.
Twin remark 2: Same store at the cash register.
The cashier, “Ooooooh! Are they twins?”
Twin remark 3: Walking through Crystal Palace Park
I pass two old women on a bench while pushing my double stroller. One woman peers in, smiles in a grandmotherly way and then is suddenly taken aback. “Oh!” she says, “For a moment there, I thought they were twins!”
Now, you tell me: why do you think this happened three times in one day?
Here’s my thoughts:
1. They do look like each other – if over two years apart in age.
2. May is very small for her age. (She is still twice the length of Ieuan.)
3. May doesn’t make eye contact and she doesn’t greet people. This must be very confusing to them. Conclusion? She must be a baby too! Problem solved.