I kicked a doctor off May’s team

Posted on Oct 30, 2012 | 7 comments

In an interesting follow-up to yesterday’s post, here is the email I sent to May’s team this week following her annual medical review on Wednesday:

An unrelated (but cute!) photo of May, as a Halloween fairy, this week.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for meeting with May and I on Wednesday (and a very noisy Ieuan).

Thank you, ** for drawing up the care plan. It seems fine to me. I need to make a somewhat awkward request, that I hope you won’t find too uncomfortable to read. I was very uneasy with Dr. **’s professionalism yesterday. I realise her involvement with May is very limited, but I want to formally request that she does not deal with May’s medical issues from this stage forward.Before our meeting, she met me in the car park to see what was holding me up and I explained May had just had a seizure. Of this she did not comment; she did make a point, however, of rushing me along. [Tapping her watch, remarking on her many appointments, insisting I push May on the sidewalk instead of the cobblestone drive that May loves.]* Then, when I stopped again because I thought May was having another seizure, she told me [without investigating] May wasn’t having a seizure, she was just cold and I should hurry up and get her inside.

I told her it was far more important to check that May wasn’t having a seizure than to just assume she was cold. I should never have to tell a doctor this.

Then, in our meeting, I felt she was dismissive of the team’s advice. [For reflux:] she wanted to investigate putting May on muscle relaxants and pain killers before we’d tried basics like antacids. She also wanted to refer May to a dietician before we’d even checked her weight. [Of which, we discovered afterwards she is gaining.]May’s medical needs are very difficult to diagnose. I am concerned about having someone involved with her care who is quick to judgement and brushes aside your expertise.

May I respectfully decline her services in the future?

I would like to reiterate that I felt our joint discussions in the meeting were useful and I agreed with the conclusions. I hope you don’t see this as a reflection on the team as a whole.

Yours sincerely,
Stacie Lewis

*All bracketed and italicized points have been added by me here, for your clarification.
What do you think happened next? How did they react? See my next post…


  1. I hope they acted on your request but I am afraid to know. That doctor should be off May’s case. She is not helpful at all I feel and with remarks like she made she needs a compassion lesson.

  2. Stacie, Good for you! I think you handled the situation extremely well and I hope you never have to see that doctor again! I also hope there will be another doctor that is MUCH better to replace her!

  3. Nice work! Way to be strong, and do what you know is right for your family! After reading that letter, I doubt they would deny your request…at least, I hope not. Hope it all works out for the best :)

  4. Hurry up and tell us, you are killing me! But I am soooo happy you did this — GREAT letter btw — just scared to hear their reaction…

  5. Poor social skills are unfortunately a hallmark of many doctors, stemming from the time medschool admissions were solely based on marks. Thankfully, the times they are a changin’, and asshole mds are going the way of the fax machine.

    (PS, I have a blog now, not related to brain-damage or children, about self-acceptance, just FYI)

  6. I am so glad you did this!! It is so important to stand up for yourself — and your kids : ) My previous GI doctor never saw me for the pain I was experiencing because of pancreatitis. Her secretary told me, “You have Crohn’s, you’re supposed to be in pain.” It was 3 months later that I was finally diagnosed as having pancreatitis and when I relayed this story to my other doctors they were shocked. I actually got my current GP through my eye doctor, who referred me to her after I told him about this experience!!


  7. Your are the best advocate for May and no one puts baby in the corner.

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