Posts Tagged "fatherhood"

What you don’t know about my husband

Posted on Oct 13, 2014 | 4 comments

What you don’t know about my husband

I am the face of this blog. As such, people often tell me how much they admire my dedication to May. What people don’t realize is that my husband deserves much of the credit. My husband is May’s main caregiver. Her bather. Her chef. Her afternoon sleeping companion. She’s watched a full Tour de France. Twice. All because she spends so much time with him. “This is the song that proved May has better taste in music than you, Stacie,” is a typical aside in our conversation. And May does genuinely has a more eclectic taste in music than I do. Why? Because she spends so much time listening to it with her daddy. He is the one who spots her troubles first and identifies them correctly. He is the one the school turns to when I’m in the hospital. Or, her therapists. Or, her doctors. He is the one, the only one, who can read May’s favorite book Room on the Broom and receive such accolades as kicking legs and full body curls of giggles. And, then immediately send her off to sleep by settling her body just so on several pillows — and yes, she is catered to a bit like a princess every night just at this point. Yes, I do plenty of things for May. But, lost in all the talk about her is him and I don’t want anyone to ever think I do this on my own. Because during meetings with doctors or teachers or therapists, inevitably I feel all the questions and discussion points seem to fall my way. Sometimes, they ignore him altogether which is really distressing. Because, if they really knew May, they’d know it was her daddy that knows her best. Here’s a classic video of the two of them destroying the Canadian national anthem. May is two years old: What role does your child’s father have in their day?...

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May has the answer to all your ills

Posted on Mar 27, 2014 | 0 comments

May has the answer to all your ills

A reminder that when the world is throwing a storm of misery your way, one little girl knows what to say. From the archives, here is May, only a few months old. She severely physically and cognitively challenged and yet she knows what you should be shouting. It is the perfect and only response to everyone who is giving you grief. For when you want to play with your child but feel pressure to do therapy. When only a cuddle will do, but a mountain of work awaits. Don’t mess with her. May says, “No!” Warning: cute baby...

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Should you have another baby?

Posted on Feb 9, 2014 | 1 comment

Should you have another baby?

Last week on BabyCenter, I mused over whether parents should have another child – and specifically I was thinking of parents of children with special needs, but it could be anyone who just loves babies and is an enormous sap. Should you have another baby? Here’s the answer: Three years ago, I felt like an absolute lunatic when I reluctantly admitted to my husband what’d I’d been mulling over for the past six months. “Sometimes,” I said, “I think about having another baby.” “I’d have another baby with you,” he returned with a half-cocked smile. Almost a dare. That we would have this conversation at all was a miracle. Our first pregnancy ended tragically. 68 hours of labor for me. A window in time when he thought I was dying. A baby that suffered a severe brain injury and still can not walk or communicate today; she never will. So, why would we smile at one another and press forward? Were we really so blind? So stupid? So in love? Erm, yes. I worried about money, space, time – even my aching back. I wondered if I’d hate endless baby tears, 3 AM visits and reading that same story over and over again. But I never regretted it and I would like to think you won’t either. Another BabyCenter blogger, Melissa Willets, wondered this week whether she should have a fourth baby.  If I could go back in time and reassure myself that I wasn’t a lunatic and that another baby was the best decision of my life, I would. But, I can’t. So I’ll just encourage you and Melissa instead… Click through to read all the reasons – each one sappier than the next. And if that’s not enough to convince you… how about these photos of May and Ieuan over the past few years?  If I’m not mistaken, I think they love each other. (Click to see in full): My two favorite travel companions. Young love? My biggest fans. And yes, my voice merits this level of adoration. And if that’s not enough to convince you… try this post I wrote called: If you ever doubted having another child. I’m just trying to populate the world with cuties – one post at a...

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My two-year old knows something’s wrong with May

Posted on Nov 25, 2013 | 5 comments

My two-year old knows something’s wrong with May

A few mornings ago, my husband was taking a shower and so didn’t hear May have a seizure. She cries in a thin and tremulous voice, and it is filled with terror. She still has at least one seizure like this a day, which is much better than it used to be. My husband was letting me sleep in, so I didn’t hear it either. Very softly, there was a knock at my door. “Mama?” a little voice said. “May-May’s crying.” I rushed out and held her in time to comfort her. Later that morning, Ieuan made himself shake. Just like May, his arms went rigid and his fingers wide. He made a crying, tremulous sound. He stopped, then started again. “You don’t need to do that, honey,” I said gathering him to me. “You are fine. May gets upset like that, but you don’t have to.” Ieuan knows something is wrong with May. He wants to comfort her. He brings her toys, her bottle and other things he knows she likes – but May can’t hold them or use them without assistance. The other day I found him in the living room feeding her a bottle as she sat in her chair. I find this both sweet and unsettling. He is old enough to know something is up, but not old enough to make sense of it. That will come though. We will walk a fine line throughout his childhood of allowing him to care about her and not asking him to take care of her. I used to think I wouldn’t have him help at all, to preserve his childhood. But he loves May, and I don’t think he can help but want to take...

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5 new things I learned about May today

Posted on Jul 7, 2013 | 8 comments

Here is how this post was originally going to start until today: It’s one month post-surgery. How is May doing? Short answer: I don’t know. Long answer: I’m not at home – I have been in the hospital for three weeks – so I haven’t seen her (Again, I must stress for an agonizing three weeks!) though I take my info from a reliable source AKA my husband. Here is how this post will read now, after my husband paid me a call this afternoon in the visitors’ room of our ward and he said he had a surprise (click on the photos to enlarge): As such, I do have five new things to report about May that I learned first hand today: 1. May is far happier than she was three weeks ago. 2. May can handle different positions now, so she is feeling more confident. 3. May is more responsive now, partially because she needs less pain killers. 4. May is kicking with joy and moving her body in a manner that suggests she is returning to normal. 5. May-May loves her mama. And Mama loves her May-May. On that sappy note, I will leave you and go watch videos of my delightful, little girl. Thank you everyone, for your continuing support of May and her mama. Also, you will be happy to know that little Ieuan had his own 2nd birthday celebration in the same room on...

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