Posts Tagged "sibling"

Should you have another baby?

Posted on Feb 9, 2014 | 1 comment

Should you have another baby?

Last week on BabyCenter, I mused over whether parents should have another child – and specifically I was thinking of parents of children with special needs, but it could be anyone who just loves babies and is an enormous sap. Should you have another baby? Here’s the answer: Three years ago, I felt like an absolute lunatic when I reluctantly admitted to my husband what’d I’d been mulling over for the past six months. “Sometimes,” I said, “I think about having another baby.” “I’d have another baby with you,” he returned with a half-cocked smile. Almost a dare. That we would have this conversation at all was a miracle. Our first pregnancy ended tragically. 68 hours of labor for me. A window in time when he thought I was dying. A baby that suffered a severe brain injury and still can not walk or communicate today; she never will. So, why would we smile at one another and press forward? Were we really so blind? So stupid? So in love? Erm, yes. I worried about money, space, time – even my aching back. I wondered if I’d hate endless baby tears, 3 AM visits and reading that same story over and over again. But I never regretted it and I would like to think you won’t either. Another BabyCenter blogger, Melissa Willets, wondered this week whether she should have a fourth baby.  If I could go back in time and reassure myself that I wasn’t a lunatic and that another baby was the best decision of my life, I would. But, I can’t. So I’ll just encourage you and Melissa instead… Click through to read all the reasons – each one sappier than the next. And if that’s not enough to convince you… how about these photos of May and Ieuan over the past few years?  If I’m not mistaken, I think they love each other. (Click to see in full): My two favorite travel companions. Young love? My biggest fans. And yes, my voice merits this level of adoration. And if that’s not enough to convince you… try this post I wrote called: If you ever doubted having another child. I’m just trying to populate the world with cuties – one post at a...

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If you ever doubted having another child…

Posted on Jan 28, 2014 | 3 comments

If you ever doubted having another child…

WARNING: Do not watch the following video with anyone you would be embarrassed weeping in front of. This week on BabyCenter, I shared this video of Trenton and his sister Lindsay, who has Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a genetic disease that causes muscle weakness and progressive loss of movement: There has been no greater, unexpected joy in my life than seeing my children’s relationship blossom. My daughter’s disabilities made me question whether a second child would benefit her or take valuable time away from her. But one thing I thought less of was whether it would benefit him to be her sibling. May can’t talk or play with him. But she is the person he runs to and hugs when he comes home from day care. She is the one he asks for when he goes to bed and doesn’t want to be alone in the dark. He turns on her toys for her and brushes the hair from her face. And though he hurls himself at us at a million miles per hour, he strokes her cheeks with delicate care. And before you think he is a complete angel, he also steals her milk. Just like any little brother would. My son’s only two, but if he could vocalize his adoration for his sister, I think he’d do it in the same way as...

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The one good thing that happened between all the puking and screaming

Posted on May 30, 2013 | 1 comment

The one good thing that happened between all the puking and screaming

My son is a Vomit Monster. On our trip to Wales this week for one last visit with Nana before THE SURGERY, Ieuan turned into Godzilla. That is, if Godzilla demolished Tokyo by puking. I’ve turned it into a poem: Puke On the way to Wales Puke Coming home from Wales Puke On the car seat Puke On the front seat Puke On the car seat again just to be thorough I’ll tell you what I tell my students when I produce something beautiful – like this poem – for them in lessons: “If you don’t get it, that means you don’t appreciate art.” I’m masking what has been one of the worst periods of May’s life, with humor. She is in a lot of pain. She takes pain medicine four or five times a day. The reason we stopped all those times that Ieuan puked, was not because he puked but because she was screaming in pain for the much of the journey. We stopped because we had to take her out of her car seat and wrap our arms around her. The puking was just a bonus. But, in between all the puking and the screaming, a doctor asked me for May’s weight over the phone. To explain, I’d been trying to get a hold of her to get a pain prescription for May for a week. (Yes. A week. And I called her, not the other way around.) She had two minutes, so she battered me with questions and promised to call me later – which she did. The only way I could think to figure May’s weight in the 30 seconds the doctor gave me was to weigh myself and subtract my weight from hers. I haven’t weighed myself in a year and a half, and even then it was in kilograms that I didn’t convert into pounds, because who wants to know how much they weigh? How about: no one. In any case, you all weigh yourselves, but I don’t and so I haven’t known my weight for four or five years at least. Because who wants to know how much they weigh? Not me. Turns out, I’ve lost weight! I weigh the same as I did a decade ago. I’m not sure if that is the depression diet or genuine good health, but I’ll take it. ______________________ Don’t miss out on a chance to win four tickets to see In the Night Garden Live! Click here for...

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Newsflash: Disabled child has fun and is fun!

Posted on Apr 21, 2013 | 3 comments

Newsflash: Disabled child has fun and is fun!

Our pre-birthday celebrations have begun. May’s fourth birthday – and yes, I can’t believe it and other appropriate clichés – is on Tuesday. Today, we took her to one of her favorite places, Kew Gardens in London. It is a vast playground perfect for those in wheelchairs and otherwise, as it is completely accessible. Today, we visited one of their greenhouses for the first time with May. After a brisk walk chasing Ieuan in the cooling afternoon sun, the tropical heat of the greenhouse was very pleasant. May particularly enjoyed sitting on a bench underneath a pipe spraying mist on the plants. Her little legs never stopped kicking and her hair went completely curly. And here is the evidence… In case anyone reading this is in any doubt of May’s superior powers of cuteness… BEHOLD! (click on the photos to see them in full): And furthermore, if anyone out there is in any doubt that May is fun to be around, that disabled children can be fun to raise or that May – or a child like her – can enjoy something as simple and perfect as a day in the park… BEHOLD! (co-starring Daddy and Ieuan)...

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Two amazing kids who proved everyone wrong

Posted on Jan 20, 2013 | 1 comment

Two amazing kids who proved everyone wrong

May sledding yesterday was partially inspired by these two boys who I wrote about today on the BabyCenter Blog. Being the kind of sappy, sentimental type, their story – orginally written about on this Sport Illustrated Kids Blog – had me blubbering like a baby. Here’s my take on their story: Connor Long refused to believe his younger brother, Cayden, couldn’t compete in sports with him. That Cayden can not walk or talk was not a deterrent in Connor’s eyes. Why should it be? The two boys were named 2012 SportsKids of the Year by Sports Illustrated Kids because of Connor’s determination to include his brother, and his brother’s complete enthusiasm to join in. They had a simple vision: to race together. The other children on the list read like a Who’s Who of ambitious young children – top of their sports nationally, National Honors students and volunteers to boot. They sound incredible. Connor and Cayden compete in triathlons and fun runs – 14 to date – on a local level. They don’t have a stack of medals to their names. Glorifying sports heroes only goes so far. Kudos to Sports Illustrated Kids for naming – not a top athlete – but two everyday kids to their highest honor. And, for naming both boys, proving that it really is the taking part that matters. As Sports Illustrated Kids explain, “For [Connor], these races are just a chance for him and his little brother to have some fun.” Yesterday, we took my kids out to a local park, blanketed with snow. My toddler, Ieuan, had never tried sledding. He went down the hill once, then a second time – a smile the size of the hill behind him on his face. “Let’s try May,” I said, gesturing to my disabled daughter – who like Cayden can not walk or talk – and was wrapped up in blankets, stuck in her stroller. Admittedly, it hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that maybe she woud enjoy the rush of the wind on her cheeks and the rough vibration of the snow beneath her. I trudged up the hill with her and, assisted by a friend, climbed in behind her. “Whoooo!” I cried and we ripped down the hill. May’s mouth fell open and a flood of laughter poured out. Here she is a second time, racing down with her daddy. And a big thank you, to Connor and Cayden, for reminding me that May is mighty happy to be taking part. The full post with video appears on the BabyCenter Blog. (My original post with video on Mama Lewis is here in the previous...

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