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I ignored the advice of my daughter’s doctor

March 21, 2013 at 03:29

Mama Lewis

8

Today on the BabyCenter Blog, I discussed how sometimes it is inappropriate for me to follow a doctor’s advice. Not all the time, just sometimes.

But, I seem to have unwittingly given lots of paranoid mothers the rationale to not vaccinate their children. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I intended to free myself and other mothers from the burden of choosing for their child the most appropriate solution from a range of medical options, instead I gave mothers the opportunity to explain exactly why their doctors, with all their years of experience, are just a plant to pedal them expensive drugs by pharmaceutical companies.

I thought it would be interesting to discuss research by the University of Michigan where they discovered 2/3 of parents do not always follow medical advice. That sounded like something most parents would never admit to but, in fact, do. I know I do it, but then as I explain below – what else can I do when I receive at least ten new pieces of advice each week?

I’m not sure what is better in this situation: to write the post or not? I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall sometimes.

Here’s the opening of my post I ignored the advice of my daughter’s doctor:

My daughter is brain-damaged. May has no less than six doctors with specialisms ranging from neurology to orthopedic surgery. They are all eminent in their fields, the best the country has to offer. They have decades of training under their belts, degrees from world-class universities like Oxford and Cambridge and whole teams of people scurrying around them, jotting down their every word.

Everyone except me. Sometimes, I even plain ignore them.

When it is something like May’s seizure medication, I follow their advice exactly as prescribed. But, other times, I nod in agreement but don’t follow through. Sometimes, I even argue back.

Like when May was underweight as a baby and her doctor insisted that I see a dietician. I refused. The dietician assigned to us advised that we never use a microwave and make sure everything May ate was organic and homemade. Not only would that advice not fatten her up, it simply wasn’t realistic.

The doctor argued with me incessantly but she was dipping into our lives for a twenty minute appointment, and had lost sight of the bigger picture. She saw a measurement on her chart that said May was underweight. She jumped to a solution.

Our situation is extreme. Most parents don’t go to a hospital at least once a week. They don’t have a team of medical staff each bestowing one or two requests on them in every visit. Besides doctors, we see a whole team of therapists. We could easily be told “to try” a new stretch, way of feeding, type of equipment or a sleep solution every day. And, that’s just impossible.

Hitting this level of information overload, I imagine many parents would turn off completely. In other words, not pick and choose as we do – but do nothing.

Turns out I’m right, but on a much larger scale.

As reported in Science Daily, The University of Michigan took a poll of the parents and found that only one-third (31%) follow their doctors advice all of the time. In other words, 69% of us don’t.

You can read the full article, including more information on the U of M study, on the BabyCenter Blog.

Is there a situation where you would not follow your doctor’s advice?

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8 Comments

  1. Ellen Lewis March 21, 2013 Reply

    Stacie, We are proud of you and we back 100% any decisions that you make because you are well nformed and an excellent Mother.

    Love, Ellen

  2. Philippa March 21, 2013 Reply

    We ignored doctors advice when he said he thought our son could be autistic because he was not meeting 2 yr old language milestones at 21months ( 3 months is a long time) he refered us to a specialist who was going to assess him. I never rang. Instead I took him to a private speach therapist, ( which i had been thinking of doing anyway if he continued to say so few words) who was fabulous and we never had to see again because he moved forward in leaps and bounds. I must say though, the doc took my breath away and I cried in the car on my way home until I was able to clear my mind and say no sorry he just isn't. But that horrible sinking feeling did linger!

    • Mama Lewis March 21, 2013 Reply

      It is a horrible feeling when doctors say things like that. Good for you, for looking beyond his words and in getting your son what help he really needed!

  3. Shampagne March 21, 2013 Reply

    I really liked your blog from yesterday and I thought it was well thought out and informed. At no point did I think hmmm, this means I should be able to ignore my doctor whenever I want...or that doctors are evil drug pushers. Keep in mind people see what they want to see. From what you write I can tell you are a awesome mom who loves both her children dearly. Keep up the good work.

    • Mama Lewis March 21, 2013 Reply

      Thanks, Shampagne!

    • Adrianne March 21, 2013 Reply

      Completely agree! "Paranoid parents" that refuse to vaccinate are going to refuse to vaccinate regardless of what you write. What they've done is highjacked your post to push their agenda for not vaccinating, which honestly makes no sense. The only reason their kids aren't sick & dying is because other parents vaccinate!

      The only time I can remember ignoring my doctor's advice was when he told me I had to be on a medication (which costs $400 for a month supply and was not covered by insurance) simply because I was diagnosed with Crohn's. I hadn't had any symptoms for almost a year or more and only went to see him because my new primary did not want me to go without a GI doctor.

      Adrianne

  4. CSmith March 22, 2013 Reply

    I have been a parent for 18 years and have gotten, and ignored, tons of advice. When the opthamologist said we should see a neurologist because my 7 year old had one eye that drooped when she was tired, I didn't. Her eye has done that from birth, my son's do the same thing and so did mine as a child. I knew she was fine. I insisted that we get antibiotics for my son's "cold" even though the doctor said it wasn't needed. He ended up having double ear infections and pneumonia. I have also delayed antibiotics for a day or two when I was sure a child's ear infection was going to clear up,(just a case of too much swimming). I spaced my son's immunizations out when he had really strong reactions to them, and I insisted on a referral when I was sure my daughter wasn't hearing well. I think you should always take into account your doctor's expertise, but no one knows YOUR child like YOU do.

  5. Dianne April 19, 2013 Reply

    I regularly ignore the advice of doctors. Most frequently it relates to them prescribing antibiotics for things that I believe do not require them. I've learnt to take the prescription home with me rather than arguing the point. Then I go see my naturopath and get his advice. My naturopath is not a conventional medicine hater and I trust his judgement to tell me whether or not we need them. With CP and ASD in the house I don't see why I should overly medicate my kids unnecessarily. More recently, our paediatrician and GP both told us that there was nothing we could do but wait for my son with CP to recover from glandular fever. I've ignored this assessment and now working with a few different complementary medicines to help him get back to full steam. And don't even get my started on the rubbish some doctors have fed me about what to do about my kids severe eczema over the years. Doctors know a lot, but they don't know everything. There are lots of times where you just have to trust your own judgement (and for the record, my kids are fully vaccinated.). Dianne

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