Tomorrow is the day I’ve been dreading

Posted on Jun 2, 2013 | 12 comments

Strange isn’t it – how some moments are so significant that even the most unassuming of locations – a street corner, pushing Ieuan in a stroller – sear in brilliant detail on your memory. It was at a street crossing that I received the test results, six months late, about May’s hip displacement. The crosswalk light blinked. The sharp alert to cross. The phone pressed awkwardly between my shoulder and ear. I shouted because I couldn’t hear what she was saying.

I can remember all that. But, ask me where my car keys are located right now. Ask me. I dare you.

That was the first moment I thought that May’s hips were so far gone there was probably no hope for them. Take a look at theses shoes, I said here on this blog, because you may never see them again.

It was one of those moments when I realized that May’s NHS physiotherapy up until that point had been worse than I had thought, leaning towards negligence. It was also one of those moments when I wondered, and still do, about the point of physiotherapy? Even if her physiotherapist had done stretches with her (which she didn’t – I had to beg her to touch May just to test her flexibility) could we have stopped her hip displacement? How can I not wonder, when the end result is May on an operating table tomorrow for six hours. There is a cruel inevitability about the whole thing.

Maybe, just maybe – this hip problem is the reason May has been in so much discomfort recently. And – after the surgery, when she is recovered – maybe, just maybe it will be a bouncebouncebounce marathon.


Today we took May to the park. Thankfully, given London weather, it was clear skies and warm breezes all day. Click on the photos to see in full.

See you post-op and thank you for all the good wishes!


  1. Ah Stacie, sending lots of love and all the best for you and May tomorrow. I have experienced having a child go under GA albeit for a minor op and I won’t lie that it is difficult. Those 6 hours may seem long tomorrow but they will pass and your lovely May will be back with you. I wish her a swift recovery ans hopefully the op will make a significant difference to her life. Much love x

  2. All of my thoughts and speedy wishes will be with May tomorrow. So glad Mom is there to hold you when you need a Mommy hug. Wish I could be there to support you too! Even though it’s hard to think about, it is supposed to help May and so I want what would ever help her. I love my neice so much and I wish also that I could of kissed her keppy. You and Gareth are such wonderful parents and May will feel that as she heals after her surgery. I got a little something for her and Ieuan today and plan to send it off Mon. or Tuesday. We love you all!
    Carrie Chad Connor and Caylee

  3. Many hugs and best wishes–I will have May and your whole family in my thoughts and will look forward to hearing good news.

  4. I wish your family and May good luck with the surgery tomorrow. I know how hard it is to sit in that waiting room and wait to find out how your child is doing. You and May are both very strong and I have no doubt she will pull through just fine.

    I am sure the surgery will help her out a lot and it will all be worth it.

  5. All the best to May and the whole family tomorrow. My thoughts will be with you. Sending lots of well wishes and strength from across the pond.

  6. Thinking of you today and looking forward to seeing May bouncing about soon.

  7. Hi Mama and May I’ve recently discovered your blog it’s been a breath of fresh air for me and a wealth of information, I have 17 month old twin boys one has cerebral palsy ‘severe’ spastic quadriplegic cystic pvl etc. I just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow. I have lots of questions for you Mama but I will wait until a more appropriate time when this hurdle has been well and truly jumped. Please keep us updated when you can.

  8. Hi Stacie, So sorry to hear May has had to go through the surgery, I hope all has gone smoothly and she’s back home ASAP. Anna xx

  9. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

  10. Thinking about you both today! I know how hard this is. My son went through the same thing. It has now been almost 3 years since he had the double hip surgery. I am very glad we did it. It is so hard to go through and I am so glad it’s over. This past Jan., we finally had his hip hardware taken out. His scars had to be reopened but are now healing nicely. I use MSM lotion on the scars and vitamin E oil and coconut oil. Best thing is to keep the scare tissue moist – that is after the stitches are removed.

    Hope all goes well and May gets good pain medication. Take care Mama.

  11. Holding all of you in the light.

  12. Thinking of you all and sending only good vibes your way. Precious May, you are so loved. And, Stacie… you are beyond amazing, and even a little more. Hang in there.

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