Sad News

Posted on Apr 21, 2017 | 11 comments

This is Stacie’s husband, Gareth.

I’m afraid I have sad news to pass on. After her long struggle with leukaemia, Stacie died on Good Friday. She died at home, with her loving family around her.

Stacie’s illness became more and more debilitating over the past year. She nonetheless lived life with the same passionate independence that defined her. After learning in October that all routes to a cure were blocked, she determined to see family, renew friendships and live as best she could until she could endure no more. She did this and more. Her decline, when it came, was thankfully swift.

Stacie was much loved and admired. She touched the lives of many as a teacher, writer and disability rights campaigner. To me she was the woman I loved, my remarkable wife for seventeen years, a loving mother to May and Ieuan. 

After May’s birth this blog was a very important part of Stacie’s life. It was a place where she could share all that she discovered in being the mother of a profoundly disabled little girl like May. That meant documenting great pleasure; sometimes it meant documenting great pain. Stacie was an expert at writing with generosity about a life few people lead. That’s why many people read this blog.

This blog also meant documenting, ever more, frustration in the face of a more general intransigence in attitudes to the disabled. I think Stacie has always been clear that May’s condition meant that we have often been treated as a family with great kindness and care. This is how our society likes to think of itself with regards to the disabled. We have also been treated with insouciance and, at times, disregard by those who ought to have known better. This experience is the broader truth of our society today, the dark mirror to its charity.

A woman of Stacie’s integrity couldn’t stand for that. Hence her campaigning and her stubborn refusal to accept that this was as good as it was ever going to get.

For those who are able to attend, Stacie’s funeral will be held at the West Norwood crematorium, next week, on Thursday 27th April. The ceremony will begin at 2.45pm. We will celebrate her life, and all are welcome.

I will publish a fuller obituary here in the weeks to come.

11 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry to hear. I admired Stacie’s clear, brave writing and her unbounded determination to improve conditions for May and others like her.

  2. I’m so, so sorry for your bereavement. I had no link aside from motherhood that brought me to this blog, but I have enjoyed and been inspired by Stacie’s writing for many years. My thoughts are with you, May and Ieuan, as well as the rest of her family and friends.

  3. I am very sorry… Please accept my heartfelt condolences. As a mother from turkey who never met her in real lifeI am thankful for all that Stacie has shared with us and all the change she brought to the world.

  4. I am stunned. I had no idea she was sick again. My sincere sympathies to you and your beautiful children.

  5. Gosh it’s with such sadness that I hear this news. Much love to all of you.

  6. I’m so very sorry. What a loss. I will miss her writing and hearing about May!

  7. I am so sorry and sad to read this. I have followed this blog for a long time. Stacie was an inspirational woman who clearly loved her family beyond measure and did so much good in her life. A cruel and unfair loss – thoughts with her family and friends.

  8. Such sad news, so sorry for your loss and for May and Ieauan. I too have a disabled child and Stacie’s writing and stories of your family and their achievements really helped me through some dark times. She will be sorely missed. Take care

  9. Thank you for giving us this news Gareth. Stacie was a great writer and clearly a wonderful mother and advocate for her family. She touched me deeply with her spirit, humour and fortitude- all so evident in her blog posts. I am so very sorry for you and the children. With love from New Zealand.

  10. I am so sad and sorry to read this. I came here after reading her first Guardian article about May years ago and was captivated by her writing, personality and her powerful love for her family. What a devastating loss for you all and also for her. I am angry and heartbroken that she will not see her beautiful May and Ieuan grow up, and that they have lost such a fiercely loving mother. May her love be part of them – and you -all your lives.

  11. I’m so very, very sorry to hear this, Stacie very kindly messaged me back when I was in some dark days after the very difficult birth of my son when we were both in GOSH. Her words and her blog were a great deal of comfort to me and her stories of May and her achievements gave me hope. Her love for you and her children shone through her writing, I hope you are all well.

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